"I don't know that our marriage would have survived if we did talk about it that season," Shay said of discussing Brock Davies' affair on 'Vanderpump Rules'
Scheana Shay is calling out her own “hypocrisy" on Vanderpump Rules.
More than two weeks after Shay revealed her husband Brock Davies had cheated on her while she was pregnant with their now 4-year-old daughter, Summer Moon, the couple discussed why they didn’t discuss his affair on the Bravo series on the latest episode of her Scheananigans podcast.
While keeping Davies' affair a secret while filming season 11, Shay, 40, shared that the pair demanded “transparency” from their costars — especially Ariana Madix, who was navigating her split from Tom Sandoval in the aftermath of his own affair with Rachel Leviss.
In light of the affair news, Davies admitted, “I don't think there's very much justification [for our behavior]. It was exactly what it was. It was hypocritical of us. The hypocrisy was real, and that's just a very bright example of literally me pointing the blame and smoking mirrors. It wasn’t OK.”
“Ariana definitely was going through it, her and Tom's situation, and I kind of played the coward way out and was just like, well, if that's happening, we can just try and preach forgiveness because we knew what we were going through, but I didn't have the courage to stand up for it,” he continued. “I apologize for that. I think it was another piece of the damage that I left behind in my wake.”
“We were sitting on a huge secret, and so I absolutely understand that criticism,” Shay acknowledged.
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Shay revealed that she “wasn't ready” to open up about the affair while filming the reality show.
"At that time, I wasn't ready to talk about this. I certainly don't think you were ready to talk about this,” she told her husband of the affair. “I don't know that our marriage would have survived if we did talk about it that season. I felt like we were still very much in the middle of processing it privately.”
The television personality admitted they hadn’t told their family about it yet, adding, “I wasn't about to start unraveling all of this on camera before I had even processed what it meant for our marriage, for our daughter, for our entire life.”
“I didn't know if I was going to be strong enough to stay,” she shared.
“It can be easier to just walk away after a betrayal, and hands are clean and be done,” she continued. “So sure, I could have disclosed it then, but I would have been speaking from a place of extreme confusion, pain, fear, [and] not clarity of any sort.”
“I just wasn't ready. And I think I've learned the hard way, once you say something on camera, it's out there forever.”
In retrospect, Shay understands that Madix “had every right in the world to protect her peace” amid the fallout of Scandoval.
“That was her reality, and she was giving us 100% that it was hard for me to see at the time,” she said. “But I wasn't giving 100%, because I wasn't ready to.”
“Ariana didn't owe anyone a resolution on anyone else's timeline,” she said, referring to her refusal to film with Sandoval. “I understand completely why she walked away from that conversation, and those type of boundaries that she has, that's something, in general, I'm envious of… I don't have that strength always.”
She called Madix’s decision a “boss a-- move” with Davies adding, “It took power, and she said that very clearly to us.”
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Shay also revealed that Madix’s actions helped her find her own strength, explaining, “Watching her do that, even though I don't think I fully understand it at the time, but it did help me start unpacking some of my fears around setting boundaries.”
While acknowledging she said some things that “did not age well,” Shay shared, “I'm the first to admit that, I own that, and I also think that's what growth looks like. Realizing where you were wrong, and using that to do better in the future, to evolve.”
“I also think that with reality TV, and this was one thing I was saying at the time, I'm like we agree to show a 100% of our lives. We do sign up for that. However, some things can remain private until we are ready to discuss them.”
Shay first revealed Davies had been unfaithful to her while she was pregnant in her new memoir, My Good Side.
The confession came after the reality star spent “so much time fighting off my anxiety and convincing myself that just because Tom cheated on Ariana didn’t mean Brock would ever cheat on me.”
“Now, I was finding out just how wrong I was,” she added.
Recalling feeling “completely sick to my stomach,” she explained that Davies “admitted that — at the time — he was scared about being a father again, specifically about whether he even deserved to be, and he chose to deal with it by sleeping with someone else.”
“I use the word ‘chose’ because it was very much a conscious decision. No one twisted his arm or dragged him into bed," she wrote.