The Bachelor's Litia Garr's Raw Honesty About Grant Ellis' Decision Explains Exactly Why Producers Need To Update The Show (He Raised The Stakes And Broke Her Heart)

The Bachelor season 29’s finale was an exhausting three-hour look at why Grant Ellis was wrong for the leading role, and nothing made it clear that the show needs to change more than Litia Garr’s blunt honesty about Grant’s irresponsible behavior. Throughout the season, Grant spent a lot of time reassuring Litia about their connection during the journey. While The Bachelor season 29 delved into various connections Grant had with several women on the show, his relationship with Litia always seemed to be a special one. Treating her with a certain level of care was very clearly important for Grant.

Despite knowing that he was coming towards the end of his journey, where he’d have to choose between Litia and Juliana Pasquarosa in a tense final rose ceremony, Grant remained conflicted yet positive. Reassuring Litia, telling her he loved her, and even talking about their future as though she was a lock for him was shocking, even more so when it was revealed he’d be letting her go. Throughout Bachelor history, there’s been a lot of leads who wind up hurting contestants’ feelings, but after Grant’s screw-up of epic proportions, I can’t imagine not feeling the show needs to change.

Litia And Grant Seemed Like A Good Fit This Season

Their Connection Was Sweet

Throughout The Bachelor season 29, Grant’s relationship with Litia grew steadily as the pair got to know each other well. Grant had a tough time building solid connections with the women of his season, but even his closed off behavior couldn’t push Litia away. Despite knowing that he would eventually need to narrow the pool down to just one woman, Grant spent a lot of time reassuring Litia that they had a special connection, even though it wasn’t the only one he was considering. Grant, who called his connection with Litia once-in-a-lifetime, said he was excited to be with her.

Grant Broke Litia's Heart After Consistently Reassuring Her

He Didn’t Know He’d Wind Up Hurting Her

Although Grant spent their time together reassuring Litia and raising the stakes of their relationship consistently, which put her into a false sense of security, he knew he would eventually need to make a tough decision. Though he shared he didn’t know what he’d do up to the day before The Bachelor season 29 finale, Grant all but told Litia she was the one. Making her feel comfortable, Grant shocked Litia when he decided to propose to Juliana instead. Making it clear he’d been lying to her throughout the season with his choice, Litia was betrayed by Grant’s decision.

Litia Called Grant Out For "Raising The Stakes" All Season

She Didn’t Understand Where He Was Coming From

At The Bachelor season 29’s ATFR, Litia made it clear that she was confused and disappointed by Grant’s behavior. She called him out for continually leading him on and making it seem like she was the one, sharing that in the day before the final rose ceremony, they’d talked about how excited they were to get engaged tomorrow. Litia questioned Grant on how it was possible for him to make such a quick decision and feel good, not only for his conscience, but for Juliana’s wellbeing. While Litia had a lot of questions, Grant didn’t have a lot of answers.

Stumbling through an apology, Grant didn’t know what to say when he was faced head on with his behavior by someone who had been hurt by it. Throughout The Bachelor season 29, Grant’s people pleasing tendencies have gotten him into trouble, as he’s struggled to let anyone have an inkling that they’re going to be let down. With his breakup with Litia, Grant’s people pleasing backfired considerably as he tried to make her happy, then had to let her down in a much more difficult way than if he’d been willing to scale his feelings back during his conversations with her.

Grant's Consistent Reassurance Shines A Light On What Needs To Change About The Show

Bachelor Leads Need To Recognize Their Power

Grant spent the season trying to reassure Litia he was invested in her, but when that investment led her to think she was the one, it left her all the more heartbroken when Grant didn’t choose her. While Litia is certainly better off with someone who can meet her needs, it’s clear that Grant could’ve done better here, and in turn, The Bachelor could’ve helped him do so. In early seasons, leads weren’t allowed to tell the contestants they loved them ahead of the finale. This was a protective measure - in order to preserve a level of aloofness, leads had to be distant.

While allowing the leads to be more emotionally open has been interesting, the way The Bachelor treats its contestants and leads has been changing in a negative way. With the leads taking more power by sharing their feelings outwardly, they’ve been quick to try and reassure or over explain things that push the contestants to feel more stable in their relationships. This isn’t necessarily a good thing, as the lead is the one who has the power and can change their mind at any time. The Bachelor needs to be more aware of its power structure and either change it, or push their leads to respect it more consistently to prevent major heartbreak like Litia experienced.