Real Housewives of Orange County Season 18, Episode 13 Recap: No Scone for You

   

This week’s Real Housewives of Orange County episode, “You Are Cordially Not Invited,” picks up where we left off last week. Tamra is beside herself with anger and has stormed out of Katie’s dinner party. While running away, she drops even more breadcrumbs about Ryan and the FBI. Emily and Heather finally get a chance to discuss the meaning of body image, and I pray that this subject will come to an end. Shannon, who turns 60, decided to host a tea party. Nine Lemons Beador then reveals she will be taking almost everyone on a trip to Merry ‘ol England. 

Real Housewives of Orange County Season 18, Episode 12 Recap

Tamra threw a grenade and ran (shocking, I know)

RHOC stars Tamra Judge and Gina Kirschenheiter.
Photo Credit: Bravo Media

The fallout from Tamra dropping the FBI bomb last week is still fresh. The real estate agent has walked out and left the building, and she is done. Even after Katie runs after her, Tamra doubles down, telling the gracious host to ask Ryan about the FBI and the illegal gambling ring. I had to laugh, though, because Tamra gets her intel from the strangest of places. Mind you, her “informant” is a fan account (that said, it was true-ish).

But the math matches for Tammy Sue. According to the account, Georgia Says there was “$500,000 that was moved to Ryan’s account.” And when Ryan was asked where that money came from, “he just simply couldn’t remember. Allegedly.” Our resident detective Tamra went on to break it down further, saying “Allegedly, Ryan’s partner’s business address is Ryan’s home address.” Honestly, I need Alex Mack on the case cause the lady done lost me. 

Ryan doesn’t exactly look innocent

RHOC stars Heather Dubrow, Gina Kirschenheiter, with Jennifer Pedranti.
Photo Credit: Bravo Media

Even though Eddie and Ryan shook hands after the altercation, Jen was left blindsided by the revelation that Tammy Sue isn’t loyal to anyone. As the dust cleared, Ryan did step up with some sort of explanation. The man plays the game well, sharing, “She must be talking about Matt, one of my close friends who has been going through something since September.” I will say that while we all know it’s innocent until proven guilty, Ryan is really playing his cards close to the chest. 

But Emily smells Ryan’s BS from a mile away, opening up in her confessional, saying she, too, has heard the rumors. “Ryan goes to Vegas like it’s his job. His career is going to Vegas. I don’t what else there is to do in Vegas…” In the midst of the drama, Shannon is shopping for her patio, which no one cares about. But Gina’s kids’ bedroom is finally complete with a stripper fire pole, and it was everything fans didn’t know they needed. Between the squeak of the dry pole and the nickname “Lazy Susan,” the duo had us laughing. 

Tea for 60 – but not for Alexis

RHOC cast filming Season 18.
Photo Credit: Bravo Media

Shannon is turning 60, but the drama is never aging. I didn’t believe for one second that Shannon didn’t want a spectacle to be made about her, even though she pretended it made her feel uncomfortable. While shopping, Heather admits she is still not over Emily getting upset by a dress size. Fancy Pants strolled in with her Hermes bag, expecting to approach Emily, which was classic. But Ms. Taco Lover shut her down. What seems to bother the ladies the most about Heather is that she can never seem to be in the moment. She always has to remove herself and calculate the perfect response. 

But finally, after a long-winded recap of their feelings, I think both Heather and Emily are over it. Let’s all promise never to give Emily an overcoat or matching dress again! In the nick of time, Shannon makes her entrance. While everyone is sporting beautiful pastel dresses, Shannon walks in as if she is attending a funeral. Thank God her wardrobe was just a ruse to hide what was underneath: a Union Jack Spice Girls’ dress. However, the whole spectacle was overshadowed by a flower delivery.

Did Alexis just pull a Margaret Joseph’s with an over-the-top floral arrangement? Yes. Yes, she did. And I literally whispered to my TV, “I love this.” If the episode couldn’t get any better, Johnny J appeared. In a confessional. With Alexis. Guys, this season is everything!