Kristen Doute’s Firm Rules for Visiting Her Newborn Are a Good Lesson for All New Parents

When a baby is born, parents should be able to focus on bonding together as a new family, but that’s rarely the case. Instead, the new parents are often forced to navigate all sorts of outside conflict—from baby name drama to expectations around who can visit the baby and when.

Oftentimes those conversations can be tense, especially when it comes to balancing pressure from family to be welcoming while also adjusting to life as an exhausted new parent. But Vanderpump Rules star Kristen Doute avoided all that uncertainty by laying out exactly what the rules are for visiting her new baby—and she didn’t hold back.

In June 2025, Doute and her fiancé welcomed baby girl Kaia Lily. Earlier this week, a post on her Instagram Threads account revealed what she tells family and friends before they are allowed to meet her baby.

Kristen Doute's Rules for Meeting Her Newborn

First of all, there is no kissing or touching of her face allowed. That seems perfectly reasonable given that babies are vulnerable to germs and us adults are carrying loads of them around with us, whether we know it or not.

The next item on the list might prove just a touch more controversial. She writes, “If you were out of town, at a party, have even a tickle in your throat—don’t come over.”

Family members who like to socialize or travel or who are less worried about illness might consider this stance paranoid or overly cautious, and even accuse the new parents of trying to intentionally keep the baby away from family. Yes, we know it doesn’t sound like a reasonable response, but given some of the things we’ve read on Reddit, people aren’t reasonable when it comes to new babies.

Then she lets people know another rule: “If I’m cool with you holding her, I’ll let you know so please don’t ask and make it weird.”

This one might cause the most people to bristle, but frankly I agree with her stance. Way too many people are comfortable taking a baby out of a new parent’s arms without their permission, as though they are entitled to hold the baby, rather than volunteering to help the family with dishes or fold laundry, or simply asking how the new parents are holding up.

She adds a reassuring postscript to her note that other moms and new parents might be grateful for: “Moms–you’re not crazy. Babies are small and germs are big.”

Why Clear Boundaries Are So Important for New Parents

There are too many new parents out there who report feeling pressured to give in to family members’ demands when it comes to the excitement of meeting a new baby. But if you don’t feel comfortable letting just anyone interact with your child, that’s your call—and it should be respected no matter what.

Setting out a clear list of rules from the beginning just like Doute did to create expectations and boundaries might ruffle some feathers, but it can also dispel confusion and prevent miscommunication. You might get some push back, but as all new parents know, your number one priority is to protect your child and minimize your stress. If your friends and family aren’t willing to help you on the path, then you might need to revisit letting them visit your baby anyway.