How Bills Can Beat the Chiefs... in their Hallmark movie quality, at least

It's the question that has tormented diehard Bills fans (present company included) the past four postseasons — how can the Bills find a way to beat the Chiefs? On the field, I have no easy answers to that one. But luckily, the surprise announcement last week that the Bills will be getting their own Hallmark movie treatment this holiday season offers another way to take down their bitter rival — by making a better holiday rom-com than the shlock-fest that was Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story.

The Chiefs famously got the inaugural Hallmark rom-com / NFL team collaboration pic last year, and it made total sense at the time. The nation was captivated by a much-publicized Chiefs-based love story playing out in real life in the form of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's whirlwind romance.

There was so much potential for a film inspired by the meet-cute story of an NFL player bearing his feelings for a pop star on his hit podcast, only to assume he had been rejected, but then in a surprise twist she gives him a shot and love blossoms!

But Hallmark didn't have nods to any of that (other than a brief Donna Kelce cameo). Instead, the network opted to churn out a generic sports film with a weak “Fan of the Year” plot, slap a Chiefs filter on their camera lens and call it a day. It was about as embarrassing as the Chiefs Super Bowl performance against the Eagles last season.

Now, Hallmark and the NFL have a chance for an epic re-do. They're turning Holiday Touchdown into a franchise, and centering this year's installment around one of the most beloved yet emotionally draining teams in all of sports — the Buffalo Bills. That, coupled with a diehard, devoted fan base that screams quirky-comedy-relief-best-friend-character — Bills Mafia — make it feel like this year's Holiday Touchdown has so, so much more potential.

Please don't just put this one through the Hallmark movie machine and churn out a bland script about a family with a closely guarded secret recipe for Buffalo wings, whose wings somehow get in the hands of the Bills' star quarterback, who loves them so much they become his “secret sauce” to play well, and he begs the cute, 20-something single daughter of the wing family for the recipe, only to be adorably rebuffed again and again up until the Super Bowl — where a Buffalo snow storm causes the wing family to not be able to make it to the big game, and the QB's wing crush has to decide whether or not to give him the recipe over the phone, and then she hangs up and you think he just got rejected, but then at the last second before kickoff she shows up on the Pegulas' private snow-plowing land yacht with a fresh batch of wings and she and the quarterback embrace and declare their love for wings, each other, and the Buffalo Bills.

You know what? No lie, I'd actually watch that version too, but this long suffering fan base deserves better than that.

How about veering from the Hallmark formula entirely and giving us a “Sliding Doors” type revisionist rom-com about how the world would have been different if Scott Norwood had only made that 47 yard field goal at the end of Super Bowl XXV?

Wouldn't it be great if they could cook up a plot that makes clear this version of events, with the Bills dramatically winning their first Super Bowl, might seem like the better outcome… but ultimately we find out at the end that losing four in a row and the ensuing suffering was somehow necessary to live better, more fulfilling lives and will make for an even greater triumph and sense of personal worth when the Bills do ultimately win their first Super Bowl next season!

That's probably not in the cards for this installment of Holiday Touchdown. It's most likely going to resemble something closer to Wingin' It for Love, the working title I've given to my lesser Bills rom-com pitch. But a Bills fan can still dream, and with any luck, a Hallmark executive is listening.