During the COVID-19 pandemic, Colton Underwood struggled with depression, anxiety, and several personal issues. At the time, he felt like everything in his life was going wrong. The Season 23 Bachelor “didn’t see a way out.”
Alone in his LA home, he attempted suicide. Thankfully, he was unsuccessful, but it proved to be a watershed moment in his mental health journey.
Waking up the next morning, he realized he needed help. “That was my moment of, ‘I have to make some changes because I’m not healthy right now,’” he admits.
Colton Underwood decided he needed to make some big changes in his life
“I immediately loaded my dog into my Jeep and drove 15 hours to Colorado to my parents,” he tells People. “I told them everything that was going on. The next week, I was seeing a therapist and a psychologist and getting on a game plan.”
Many of his mental health issues were due to his spending years concealing his true self. In April 2021, Colton came out as gay. Before the announcement, he hadn’t even admitted to himself that he was gay, even as he pursued love with various women on The Bachelor.
“I was depressed because I wasn’t living my most authentic life. I … had a lot of shame and guilt around who I was,” he says in honor of World Mental Health Day. “[Additionally], I also had a lot of anxiety because I was so publicly straight, and I sort of doubled down [on] who I was projecting to be. So that all really caught up to me.”
“I think I knew deep down … that I was struggling,” he adds, “but I couldn’t say it out loud. I couldn’t even say it to myself. Unfortunately, it got to be so much that I had that failed suicide attempt.”
After getting his official mental health diagnosis, the search for the right treatment began. Realizing that “mental health is always a journey,” the former NFL player has gone to therapy, taken medication, and leaned on his loved ones. Finally, he has reached a place where he feels comfortable and healthy.
The most important part of Colton’s journey was breaking “free of the stigma and the shame” [surrounding] the words ‘mental health.’ The first step to healing [is] being vulnerable enough to ask for help.”
Colton encourages others to reach out and get the “help you need”
Since opening up about his sexuality and mental health struggles, Colton says a lot of people have reached out to him about their own battles with mental health. He encourages them to reach out to others going through the same issues. That’s one of the reasons why he’s the new Chief Community Officer for WhiteFlag, a free mental health app providing specialized and anonymous peer-to-peer support.
These days, Colton feels “great,” contributing much of his well-being to having a good grasp on his mental health. He’s happily married to Jordan C. Brown, and they have a brand new baby boy. Bishop Colton Brown-Underwood arrived on September 26, 2024.
“I’m helping contribute to a world that my son’s going to grow up in, and I want to continue to break barriers down for whatever he’s going to go through in his little life,” he says. “I want to pave the road and feel like I’m contributing to the healing of our country. We are in a mental health crisis right now, and people don’t know how to ask for help at all times.”
